


Good at something

by Fangfaceandrea



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Sansa needs good things in her life, Starts Season 3, non canon divergent but not fully canon compliant either
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 20:35:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21326296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangfaceandrea/pseuds/Fangfaceandrea
Summary: Podrick and Sansa grow closer and a bit bolder while in King's Landing.
Relationships: Podrick Payne/Sansa Stark
Comments: 13
Kudos: 77





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’m never too sure about timing in the show, so let’s pretend that at least a month and a half goes by between the Red Wedding and the Purple Wedding. For romance’s sake, you understand. Jeremy Beremi, baby.

Part I

Podrick finds her in the clearing of the Godswood, it’s where she has been hiding out in the days following the news of her family’s demise at the hands of the Freys and the Boltons, she has the right idea, the inhabitants of the Red Keep are not the kindest but at least most of them have the decency to leave a mourning girl alone in a sacred spot.

He’s never sure on how to approach her, she always seems sad and distant and the last thing he wants is to disturb her, so he tries to be careful and although his voice is soft he manages to startle her when he calls out to her.

“Podrick, what are you doing here?”

“Lord Tyrion asked me to keep an eye on you… I came to see if you’d wish me to escort you back to the keep for dinner”

“I’m not hungry” she says with annoyance and turns away from him, hoping that he’d leave her alone.

Truthfully, Podrick is unsure on how to proceed, he came here more at Shae’s insistence than Lord Tyrion’s suggestion; the woman is clearly protective of her lady and he’d rather not be on her bad side, but that doesn’t mean that he knows how to deal with Lady Sansa, so he stays quietly behind her while he thinks of something to say. When she turns back and realizes he hasn’t left, she lets out another annoyed huff.

“What are you still doing here? I said I’m not hungry”

“I’m sorry, My lady I just-”

“You just what?” she asks suspiciously and why wouldn’t she? Podrick is another Lannister man, harmless as he may look. 

“I only wish to help you in any way I can, my lady”

She stares at him for a while with hard eyes; he’s just a shy boy like her. What good is he? And what right does he have to look at her with so much pity. Suddenly, she wants to put him in his place.

“And how can you help me, Podrick?” she asks with a bite in her tone.

“However you like, my lady” he says quietly looking at the ground.

_However I like? _A tempting offer even coming from someone almost as powerless as she is. Especially with how many things she wants, her family alive, for one; not being the wife of a Lannister, for another. The king dead, when she despairs, being back in Winterfell, when she dares to dream. Or at least being gone from here, which is why she asks, no harm in asking when you know the answer already.

“Can you get me out of King’s Landing?” 

His response takes a few seconds, like he is actually considering it after the surprise passes “Not really, my lady”

“Can you protect me when Joffrey’s men come to hit me?” another worry, because the king’s restrained for the time being but he’s bound to want to hurt her soon enough.

This time Podrick’s answer is quicker “They’re not going to hurt you again, Lord Tyrion ...”

“We’re not talking about Tyrion, we’re talking about what you can do, Podrick” she chastises.

“I killed a Knight once, maybe I could again, if they come for you” he shrugs as if the thought just occurred to him.

“You’re going to kill a Knight for me?” she huffs in a disbelieving tone, exasperated with this silly conversation already.

“Probably not, I not even armed, My lady. I’m sorry-- I shouldn't have said anything”

“You’re not even armed… you shouldn’t go around making offers, then, Podrick.” she shakes her head.

“I know.. I know.. I’m sorry, my lady” and he looks and sounds so defeated that it’s her turn to feel bad. He is just standing there not knowing how to appease her but it’s not his fault that her family is gone, that she’s sad and angry and trapped. 

She takes a breath.

“No, Podrick. It’s me who should be sorry.” he lifts his eyes to hers in awe; nobody apologizes to lowly squires around here. “You were trying to be kind. I’m sorry. Truly” 

He nods his acquiesce “It’s alright, my lady. You weren't wrong. I can’t do much for you”. And his kind eyes tell her that he regrets that, for some reason.

“Maybe. But you did kill a knight and Lord Tyrion likes you, you must be good at something” she offers feeling shame at being unkind, she awkwardly quirks her lips up in the closest thing to a smile he’s seen of her, so he knows she’s trying to be nice.

He nods and smiles back at her in return “Mostly at pouring wine, m’lady”.

“Mostly?” she can’t help but quirk up her mouth.

“I am also good at keeping a low profile and at-” his eyes widen as he stops himself, a gesture so amusing to her that it makes her curious.

“And?”

“And… that’s it. Lady Sansa.”

She looks at him curiously “That’s not it, Podrick. Of course you have to be good at other things”

“I might also be good as serving food” he tries to deflect. Unsuccessfully.

“That’s not what you were going to say, were you?” 

“Really I--” he cuts-off himself mortified and she feels bad out pressing though, she’s not sure what makes him so ashamed, so she relents.

“It’s alright, Podrick, you don’t have to tell me” 

He relaxes at that “thank you, my lady”

“I mean...It must be really bad, if you don't want to say” she can’t help a final tease but he’s immediately appalled.

“No, My lady!! I assure you, please don’t think badly of me!”

“I don’t Pod, I actually think you’re ve-” but she stops what she’s about to say when she hears voices through the trees, someone’s coming and she can’t believe she got so comfortable in her chat with the squire that she actually forgot where she was.

As reality comes crashing back, she shakes her head, straightens her posture, lowers her gaze and with an emotionless voices addresses Podrick.

“You said you’d escort me back, Podrick?”

Podrick looks in the direction of the voices annoyed as he understands right away that this chat is over and falls back into his normal role “yes, my lady” he nods.

When they come across the girls who happened to be visiting the Godswood, there’s nothing remarkably odd about them, a squire escorting the miserable Lady Sansa Lannister as she makes her way, head downcast across the castle. 

Surely they make mocking noises when they see her but Sansa is not paying attention, for once, she’s more preoccupied with the curiosity of what else Podrick is good at, and the feeling that she maybe not everyone in King’s Landing is out to get her.

* * *

A few days later, Sansa finds herself walking along the path to the garden with Podrick close behind; her husband seems to have decided to leave her to her mourning for a while and Shae’s been acting odd, exasperated at her for not eating enough but readily desisting in her attempts to make her eat, or talk or anything, like she too has something on her mind.

So, when Shae said that maybe she should take a walk to clear her mind and suggested to her husband that the boy could accompany her, Sansa agreed if only to get away from under their pitying stares and well, Podrick’s company seemed like a nice change, especially after their little chat in the Godswood the other day.

This time she’s paying more attention to her surroundings during their walk and she can’t help but notice that more than a few ladies would look their way with wonder, and others would giggle. 

“I feel like I should apologize, Podrick” she says in a low voice as they reach the pond where just a few weeks ago she and Loras had been planning their wedding. _Silly girl, thinking something good might finally happen to her in this place._

“Apologize, my lady?”

“I fear people like to whisper and snigger when I pass by, you could do better than to escort the daughter of a traitor”

Sensing that her comment was more of an excuse to start a conversation he decides to indulge her “Ah… it’s alright my lady, I don’t pay attention to such things, and besides-” he casts a side glance to the onlookers and drops his voice “the giggling… it might not have to do with you at all m’lady”

“What do you mean?” she takes a curious side-glance at Podrick who’s standing beside her as they both contemplate the water lilies.

“Remember what you asked me the other day?” he offers, trying to sound less nervous than he feels, it helps that he’s standing slightly behind her and she’s not looking at him with her curious eyes, her lovely curious eyes.

“The thing you didn’t want to talk about?”

“Yes, my lady…that” he clears his throat.

“You want to tell me about that now?”

“No. In truth, I do not think it proper to talk about it with a lady, but I wouldn’t want you thinking that you're the reason for the mockery either”

“Improper? Is it going to offend me?”

“It might … I don’t presume to know you enough to know if you’ll take offence, Lady Sansa”

She turned her had to look at him “Well, I suppose we won’t know until you tell me”.

Pod nodded, seemingly coming to a decision “Alright. Some girls… they say, we’ll they have spread a rumor that I’m quite good at … bedding women”

“Oh?” she made a noise between a gasp and a giggle; she was expecting Podrick to tell her about him making a fool of himself publicly not, _that_.

“Yes...it, It wasn’t my doing, I expected the giggling and whispering to have died by now… but they keep at it”

Well, this was improper, he is right, and in any other man it would probably sound like lewd bragging – In Joffrey like a threat, no doubt - but Podrick’s tone let her now he was truly distressed, not that she was better, her cheeks felt like burning.

For once she was at a loss for words but for some inexplicable reason she mumbled “Why?” as she blushed furiously.

“I…” he sighs and looks around to make sure they’re still alone before continuing “LordTyriontookmetoabrothelandthewomengavemebackthemoney” he whispers in a rushed panic wanting to get out of this conversation as fast as possible. This was a bad idea. Why did he think he could speak so freely with a Lady, especially her?

The silence that follows his confession seems to last an eternity and he is sure to receive a scolding from her, or Lord Tyrion or, gods forbid, Shae. But what she asks next surprises them both.

“The women?”

“Uh… yes?”

“As in more than one? At the same time?!”

“Yes, m’lady” and he is beet red.

“Oh… I didn’t know you could...”

“Neither did I, to tell the truth…”

“And they were _all_ happy with you?”

“That’s what they said” he murmurs “I mean… I only did what they encouraged me to do” he says as if he is confessing something dreadful, and that puts her at ease.

“Well, I don’t know much about these matters” she gives a small shrug “but a man following instructions does seem quite appealing” she says cheekily and he chuckles.

“I never thought about it that way”

“I suppose there are worse reputations to bear, you shouldn’t be embarrassed by it” she adds because it’s true and she doesn’t know what else to say.

“You really think so, My Lady?” he sounds doubtful.

“It’s better than them saying you were, hmmm, a bad customer” and really, she doesn’t know what being a good customer entails but she’s seen Joffrey’s cruel smirk when he had her beat to have an understanding of what a bad customer could be and she’s glad to be in the company of someone who’s the former.

“I suppose you’re right.”

That’s the last they speak about it, she’s obviously uncomfortable and he feels like an ass for putting them on that track, so he just changes the subject asking if there is somewhere else she wishes to visit before supper.

He doesn’t want to think too much about why he felt the need to tell her everything when he thought he only wanted to distract her from her reality. A part of him worries that what he wanted her to know the truth from him before someone else would tell her.

* * *

She kept catching herself looking at Podrick a lot in the following days, at dinnertime he’d stand next to their table ready to serve his Lord, who more often than not would include the young man into conversation, especially since his own wife tended to be mostly quiet through their meals.

His revelation from the other day left her embarrassed and speechless. One thing was to talk about these matters to Margery but to Podrick Payne? Her husband’s squire of all people?

And, after the shock had faded she couldn’t deny she was intrigued, Podrick, not unlike her, tried to go unnoticed most of the time, he wasn’t exactly the most confident of men but he’d become less shy around her.

And it made sense in an odd sort of way that he was good with women, he was discreet, always listening, being thoughtful and eager to please. Besides, he wasn’t the most handsome young man in King’s Landing but he wasn’t ugly at all. He had warm brown eyes — not the cruel Lannister’s green — and a pleasing, earnest smile that he kept throwing her way.

So it was only natural, really, that she hadn’t stopped wondering what it would be like to kiss him. And it was stupid, even if she wasn’t married, she was a disgraced lady and him a squire, entertaining the idea of a kiss wouldn’t do either of them any good.

_You’re such a prissy coward, Sansa, _A voice that sounds too much like Arya mocks her in her head, _if he were a squire, you wouldn't dare kissing the most handsome man in the seven kingdoms. _And she wants to prove her sister wrong, she tells herself as she steels herself to make a decision.

“You know, Podrick,” she says as she stands from her prayers before the stub of what used to be the weirwood tree that was cut down by the Targaryans many generations ago.

“Yes, Lady Sansa?”

“The other day… I was uncomfortable with our talk”

“I know my lady, I’m sorr–“ she makes a gesture for him to stop, she’s not after an apology right now.

“But, I actually wanted to thank you”

“Thank me?”

“Yes, mortified as I was … it has been the first time in months that I thought about something else” she smiles softly.

“Well, mortified as I was, I’m glad I provided a distraction, my lady” he grins back.

“It got me thinking, though” and she gestures for him to follow through the path leading out of the Godswood. “Does your offer to help me still stand?”

“Of course my lady” he frowns, confused “what can I do for you?”

“Well, since we’ve established the extend of your talents, I thought it was only fair that you put them to good use”

His eyes widen because he’s pretty sure of her meaning, by the tone of her voice, but it still bears clarification “My Lady? What do you mean?”

And at that she stops and turns to look at him, her eyes are resolute, not shy or embarrassed like he would have expected expected. Looking at him in the eye, she clearly states. “I mean, I want you to show me”

“Show you?”

  
“Yes, show me” she takes Podrick’s hand and before he can really think about it she’s pulling him through the bushes; Sansa spends enough time in this Godswood that she knows where to hide when someone is coming; there are some bushes and trees that might provide coverage just before the clearing and that’s where she takes Podrick.

They stop when she’s satisfied that they’re hidden well enough and even though she can see that he’s nervous, she notices that he hasn’t let go of her hand, he’s actually grasping it tightly.

“Well, then… are you going to kiss me, Pod?” she whispers enjoying how he’s eyes dart between her eyes and lips. 

“Is this what you really want?” he asks throwing a side glance towards the path they’d just sneaked through. 

Instead of answering she steps up to him feeling free for once with the decision she just made and she places her lips on his, —a nothing of a peck, really— but she can feel how it sparks something in him, the way he tenses, the way he grips the hand that had pulled him along and when they separate, his eyes look hungry, so much that they sent a bolt of warmth through her body.

“Gods” he whispers before bringing his mouth down back to hers, his hands going to her face to keep her close and his tongue seeks hers in a most delightful dance of pushing and taking. It’s surprising at first but it only take a short while before they find a rhythm as one of her hands crawls up to play with the hairs of his neck and the other loosely finds his waist.

They’re breathless when they part.

“Was I any good?” she finally asks after regaining some of her composure.

“Gods… Lady Sansa… yes... You were… you were lovely. Kissing you was lovely” and he allows himself something that seems bolder and more stupid than kissing her, he reaches out to tuck back a strand of hair that got loose from her braids and her eyes shine in a way that he’s never seen before.

“Did you…did you enjoy it as well, my lady?”

Once more, instead of replying she nods and brings his head down back for a last languid kiss, one she breaks with a chuckle.

“Let’s just say you’re living up to your reputation” and is the wonder in her voice that makes him smile against her lips instead of groaning with shame.

* * *

After, she keeps her eyes low, avoiding eye contact with the people who cross her path but this time, instead of a scowl she’s trying to stop a grin from escaping her swollen lips. Pod is holding his hands as he walks behind her, it’s the only way to stop them from shaking.

Once inside hers and Tyrion’s chambers, a look of fear and regret crosses his face as he stands like a guard next to her door as she takes a seat on the lounge chair.

“What is it, Podrick?”

“It’s just… much as I enjoyed what happened… I feel bad about this; Lord Tyron has been nothing but good to me”

“To me as well but this marriage isn’t’ real, he didn’t want this anymore than I did.”

“I know, my lady. It still feels wrong” he says sounding contrite and defeated.

“I understand… we don’t have to do it again” she says with a pang as she realizes that she was already planning where to hide away for next time.

“You wanted to do it again?” he asks in a low, awed tone after a few seconds.

“I know I shouldn’t, but I do” she replies sadly.

Their second kiss (third but who’s counting) is not planned, as she would have thought, because Podrick opens the door to check outside and then he is crossing the room in three long strides coming to a kneeling position and bringing her head to his in a clash of mouths that ends far too quickly.

“The gods may damn me, but I do too” he says with his forehead against hers and his eyes closed.

“Oh Pod,” she said bringing her fingers to cares his eyebrow “you should know by now that the gods don’t care about us”.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Podrick wants to kiss her all the time and he thinks she does too, but they can’t afford to be reckless.
> 
> He is an idiot, he knows. Getting involved with Sansa Stark, no, Sansa Lannister, which makes it worse because Sansa Stark never even looked his way and the only reason they even talked in the first place is because she’s his Lord’s wife. He’s an idiot and he’s truly screwed.

She’s much better at pretending than him.

The day after their first kiss, Podrick feels like the cat that ate the canary, he keeps stumbling around while he attends to Lord Tyrion and she picks at her breakfast in a cold and disinterested manner.

She’s the very picture of indifference and he would be hurt, except he’s too nervous to be hurt, he doesn’t want to look at her, at his lord or even at Shae as she makes the bed —and unmakes the sofa — . But he’s distracted and clumsy, bumping into furniture and being too forceful in helping serve the dishes.

He’s even managed to irritate Lord Tyrion by spilling the tea on him “good gods, man, what is the matter with you today?”, he asks as he reaches for a napkin to clean the small mess Pod made on the table.

Before Podrick is able to mumble out an apology Sansa speaks, “Perhaps you shouldn’t take Podrick with you to the council meeting my Lord, with our luck he’ll trip over Cersei, she’ll see it as an assassination attempt and we’ll all end up losing our heads”

Tyrion’s shocked burst of laughter at Sansa’s interjection has Podrick looking in her direction and back to his Lord again, it’s surprising for both as that was the longest string of words she had muttered at her husband since she found about the Red Wedding.

“Ah, so she speaks!” Says Lord Tyrion softly if not a bit pleased that she seems to be engaging with the world again. “It’s good to hear your voice, my lady, and to know you care about my head”

Instead of a response, Sansa lifts her eyes in a hate-filled gaze that leaves him cold where he stands.

“But I suppose you are right…” he clears his throat and looks at Podrick doubtfully “If you’re not feeling up to par, Pod, you should probably stay indoors today…”

“My Lord?”

“You can see to my wife’s needs for the day, right?” he asks absentmindedly as he finishes fixing his vest.

“Uh…Yes, my Lord” Pod can only lower his head and nod, hoping he’s not blushing. _Did Lord Tyrion have to put it that way?_

_“_Plus, you were going to go over your heraldry before the King’s wedding, you should do that today_”._

“That’s a good idea, my Lord”.

“Unless you have any objections, Lady Sansa?”

She gives Pod a cold onceover and on a bored sigh nods “I can take him off your hands for the day, we don’t need any Lannisters taking more heads off”.

Tyrion wants to reply something to that but seems to think better of it and he just nods resignedly and leaves.

Shae huffs in amusement “Are you ever going to stop punishing the poor little man for his family crimes, m’lady?”

“I didn’t know you cared so much for Tyrion, Shae”, is her sulky reply.

This time Shae cackles “ha! Please, I love it when you put him down, I’m just worried that you’ll get so used to it, you’ll end up using that sharp tongue of yours to anger the wrong Lannister”

“That’s why I try to avoid other people at all costs” she relents softly and Pod can detect finality in her tone.

“I guess that’s my cue. Well, come on little boy, let’s leave the lady to her peace”

“Oh… but I thought I-” he awkwardly point in Sansa’s general direction.

Before he can ramble on Sansa stops him “Podrick can stay, Shae, I did promise Tyrion to take him off his hands today”

Shae looks between them suspiciously but neither makes eye contact with her, one too busy sulking and the other too shy and nervous staring at the floor, “Fine. I can take a morning off” So she steps up to him and slaps him on the chest. “But you look afterf her, you hear? Maybe you’ll convince her to eat something at lunch”.

She waits until Podrick nods before making her way to the door. “Is there anything else I can do for you, My lady?” she rolls her eyes as she asks, knowing her lady will refuse her offer.

“Just make sure that no one-”

“-bothers you?” she finishes for Sansa, who nods.

“Shae!” Sansa calls when the woman turns to leave.

“Thank you.” She says a bit more humbly this time, if anything, she knows Shae cares for her and the smirk the woman gives her in return before exiting tells her that she gets her moodiness.

There’s a silent beat before Pod looks up at her again and finds her a lot less sulky than he was expecting. Her eyes seem to be dancing with mischief.

“Did you just?” Pod asks in a state of bewilderment, he’s pretty sure she orchestrated this thing to get them alone but he’s not sure how, it’s not like she asked him to be a mess today.

“You know you’re going to have to get better at this, right?” she addresses him at last and she seems to be someone else altogether looking at him with soft eyes and a small amused smile.

“My lady?”

“At pretending, Podrick, you can’t stumble and mumble every time I’m around you” and there’s a calculation and sadness in her eyes that he wants to vanquish, but he supposes they should talk about this…them.

So, he sighs defeated “I know... I’m sorry I just felt… like they knew about yesterday”

“Yes, I could tell” she mocks and he blushes, which is endearing “Just try to act normal tomorrow”.

“Tomorrow?” he swallows hard and he doesn’t even know why he’s surprised that she seem to still want his kisses.

That makes her falter, “Unless you don’t want to... again, I mean I understand if you don’t-”

But he shakes his head “I’ll be better tomorrow, my lady” there a long pause where neither seems sure of what to say.

“So?” She breaks the silence with a small grin as she stands from the table and makes her way to where he’s awkwardly standing in the middle of the sitting room “what should we do now that’s no one’s here to bother us for a while?”

The unabashed look on her face should be invitation enough but he is still feeling shy so he takes her hand as soon as she’s within his grasp, “my lady,” he whispers after leaving a kiss on the back of her hand, “A day of leisure may be what you need”.

“What kind of leisure?” she asks a bit nervously as she steps even closer and levels her eyes with his.

“You could do some stitching; I could read you something in the meantime” his voice drops and he forces himself not swallow as he feels her breath against his jaw rather than hearing her reply.

“That’s sounds too productive” her voice is a tempting whisper that he can only mimic.

“Does it?”

She nods softly and he takes the chance to capture her lips with his in a short kiss.

Kissing Podrick yesterday had been thrilling; she had been decisive, she wanted to sate her curiosity, to kiss and explore and that’s what she did, she had closed her eyes as she went through the mechanics of lips meeting lips and hands finding places to settle, which she enjoyed through the surprise of actually doing it for the first time.

Kissing Pod today was better since the initial shyness wasn’t there, oh, there was a tension in her body, in his too, but it both dissolved and grew as she brought her hands to his neck to pull him closer, a move that had him moaning into her mouth in a most delightful way.

Today, she paid closer attention to the way Podrick held her, the way he always seemed to smile when they parted for air and how his smiles made her smile in turn.

At some point the kisses started get too heated and she suddenly remembered that lovely as this was, she was a married lady, a married lady who remained a maid, so even if she felt ready for more —which she actually didn’t— she couldn’t really pursue those desires. So when she pulled away and said it was too much, Podrick assured her that he’d never try to take more than she was willing to offer. 

He said that even having her smile at him at all felt like a gift from the gods.

And it did something to her, hearing him be so earnest. If something ever happened to him because of her, because of this _… thing_ between them, she wouldn’t forgive herself.

So it was better if they slowed down and found something more productive to do. Something that would cool them down.

Which is why she found herself asking, “Did Lord Tyrion say you should study your heraldry?”

The non-sequitor took him by surprise and he frowned “Yes, My Lady, he wants me to learn more about history and politics, especially with all the people coming to the wedding, it’s important to know who will be offending who and how, apparently”.

Sansa hummed “I’ll help you study, then”

“Really?” he asked skeptically.

“What? You think I don’t know the history of the Great Houses of Westeros?” she challenged_, not before pushing aside the bitter thought that she was all that was left of one the great houses_.

“I’m sure you do, My lady”

And they did study for a great portion of the day, to their surprise. Podrick noticed that she actually took it very seriously, this going over the various houses, their banners, lands, the strifes among them and the alliances that held them together. It didn’t hurt that by lunch they had devised a reward system that got them kisses in exchange for right answers.

The thought that he could get used to this was frightfully appealing. They were both well aware that given their circumstances this wouldn’t end well.

* * *

Very soon they came up with rules.

Not looking at each other over meals.

Not mentioning the other to anyone else.

Keeping a mask of indifference in public, save the occasional polite greeting.

Never kissing out in the open.

No promises about a happier future —that was her being pragmatic, she would enjoy the present with him but hope had proven devastating enough, already.

And always, always have a valid reason to seek each other out. Lest anyone ask why they were together.

Most of them, they broke.

And often, their reasons were repetitive: Podrick escorting her to and fro; Sansa helping him study heraldry; Podrick relaying a message from Lord Tyrion; Sansa asking him about someone’s whereabouts. But that rule they kept true to, not in the least because they would often compete for the best new excuse between stolen kisses.

* * *

Podrick wants to kiss her all the time and he thinks she does too, but they can’t afford to be reckless.

He is an idiot, he knows. Getting involved with Sansa Stark, no, Sansa Lannister, which makes it worse because Sansa Stark never even looked his way and the only reason they even talked in the first place is because she’s his Lord’s wife. He’s an idiot and he’s truly screwed.

Had it been one kiss, just to get a taste, just to give her something other than pain, it would have been fine.

But no, they had to like it, they had to like each other, she had to go and be nicer to him than any other lady of her stature would and she had him eating from her palm.

Sometimes they share just a peck among the bushes before he walks her to lunch or tea with the Tyrell’s, other times he knows that Lord Tyrion is going to be very busy - with Shae, but he doesn’t tell her that – and he mentions it to her so they make a point of sneaking into one of the many hidden nooks and alcoves he started mapping out in his head the second she told him she wanted to kiss him again.

Sometimes they talk between kisses and encounters; Sansa tells him a little about Winterfell, about her siblings, about how little she got along with Arya but how much she hopes to see her alive someday.

Pod tells her a little bit about his upbringing, about how serving Lord Tyrion was intended a punishment for them both, about wanting to become a knight, but knowing it probably wouldn’t ever happen.

To that, she shrugs and replies that he’s better than any knights she’s met in King’s Landing.

He can’t wipe the smile from his face for the rest of the day and, that night, Bronn states that such a smile can only mean one thing and that he’s proud of Pod for finally using his magic cock as the gods intended. Pod shakes his head and wonders what Bronn would say if he only knew the sappy truth. He’d probably punch him.

When once again they notice girls giggling and looking at him while they walk around the gardens, she fights a smirk and tells him she wishes she could go over there and tell them that yes, all the stories are true and they should just stop being annoying.

“But you don’t know for a fact that all the stories are true, my lady” he teases trying his best not to look directly at her because they are in public and he cannot indulge and smile at her, lest they want to be found out.

“Pod, all we’ve done is kiss and even I want to give you your money back” she mutters in jest and he almost chokes as he tries to stifle a laugh.

Under any other circumstances a lady like Sansa Stark would be appalled at his history with women but instead she’s here, blue eyes twinkling with mirth, making him blush and enjoying it even though she’s also sad and rightly heartbroken inside and he can’t help but admire that rare quality she has of surviving quietly but soundly, like a winter rose.

_A winter rose…ugh, _if he could tell Lord Tyrion about this, he’d probably scold him for using such an obvious analogy.

* * *

As Sansa has come to expect, life in King’s Landing — her life in King’s Landing, at least— can’t go even a little bit right for long. It’s as though someone found out and they’re making impossible for her to spend time alone with Podrick.

(No one has found out, of course, if they had, Pod would probably be dead or on his way to the Wall and her… well, she’d be enduring new forms of torture and humiliation that she won’t entertain, she’d be praying for death, no doubt.)

Lord Tywin insists on having lunches and suppers with Tyrion and herself lately, no doubt to keep tabs on the progress of their relationship and to make a point about what it is that he wants; a Lannister heir and soon, Tyrion reiterates apologetically when they are in private after the first disastrous lunch and she nods and tells him not to worry, that she’ll do better next time.

She’s been feeling appreciative of her husband lately; it might be because he’s the one to thank for Podrick being in her life or because he seems to want to make things easier, not harder for her. And they’re both on the same boat, so she has made an effort to be nicer to him.

And she keeps her promise as she holds his hand during the next few suppers and she plays the role of a much more attentive wife, she also suggests taking short walks together before she retires for prayers; her husband seems both amused and amazed at her improved acting skills and he plays along, it’s a subtle change, —they don’t overdo it, they want to make it believable, after all— but they appease the Hand of the King for the time being. Though the king himself delights in reminding them about all the Lannister men around who’d be more than willing to ´put a babe in her´ when they’re summoned to his apartments for family meals.

When Tyrion praises her for her acting, she only says that it’s not so bad, that pretending is all she can do. She doesn’t mention the fact that fooling his father means things going back to normal and normal only means more time alone with Podrick.

She’ll take what she can get.

What she doesn’t expect is Pod falling for her act as well, and when they’re alone in the Godswood again, he is reluctant to go into their preferred hiding spot.

“Things between you and Lord Tyrion seem to be better these days…I don’t want to get in the way” he relents with a sigh after she asks about what’s troubling him.

“It’s all an act” she reassures him as she reaches for his hand and brings his knuckles to her lips, guiding them to caress her chin, her cheeks, her neck. He’s mesmerized by the way she encourages his touch, like she’s begging him to believe her.

“You had me fooled” he admits at last.

“Really?” she searches his eyes “were you jealous?” and there’s something she likes about it. She doesn’t think anyone’s been jealous over her before.

“I’ve no right to be”

“No, I suppose you haven’t” and somehow she’s the one who’s angry at him for pointing to that truth.

He sighs “I was, you’re right, but I was also… relieved… for you”

_Relieved? _She thinks and the confusion must show on her face because he goes on.

“It would be easier for you, for him, for…everyone, if your marriage was real”

“Really, you would be happy? Seeing me settling into my marriage? Kissing Lord Tyrion instead?” she asks incredulous as she steps away from him.

“Not happy,” he mutters with some frustration.

“No, relieved” she chuckles bitterly “we’ll I’m sorry I’m such a burden,” she says as she steps ay from him.

“No… don’t… I didn’t say that” and really, he doesn’t want to fight, he just wants her safe.

“But, aren’t I? The only reason I’m alive is that my child will be the heir to Winterfell” she says bitterly and he clenches his jaw. “And you, Pod? I know, every time you kiss me I’m sentencing you to death but I can’t quit you because I’m selfish and you’re the only thing… the only one that makes me feel like … like I am someone...”

Her voice falters and whatever else she is going to say gets cuts off as he cups her face in his hands and makes her look at him.

“Lady Sansa, don’t say that” his tone was stern.

“What? That I only feel like a person with y-mmmff” he cuts her with a demanding kiss.

They barely part before Pod chastises her “you’re someone, someone precious. Don’t forget that”.

She’s about to retort something but he pulls her to him in a hug that’s so unexpected that she just melts into it. _Into him._

“And you’re not selfish,” he says after a while before kissing her forehead.

She huffs on his chest “my sister would disagree”.

“Well, I don’t know your sister but I don’t think selfish people worry much about being selfish” she huffs as if disagreeing and he chuckles. “Besides, I’m being selfish too… I hate how much time you’ve been spending with him”.

“Really?”

“Really.”

She smiles against his chest “Good.”

“Podrick…” she says seriously after a while of holding on to each other.

“hmmm?”

“How is it that who-… how do women, prostitutes, stop themselves from falling pregnant?” she whispered the words while she looked up at him with but then immediately lowered her head in something akin to shame.

“What?” he tenses and she presses her face harder into his chest, not wanting to look at him while she asks these things.

“You heard me, how do they not-“

“I… I know some of them take concoctions, moon tea, other infusions; they probably do more things… I’m not sure” there was a lot he didn’t like about this conversation, especially the way she seemed to take the information in.

“Would you find out for me?”

“Why?” he knew his voice came out harsh, harsher than he wanted but her questions had his heart gripped in fear… oh! Just a few weeks ago, the prospect might have scared but delighted him, that she’d be considering this would mean.... considering him, but right now, after weeks of separation and the conversation they just had? this felt foreboding.

“He won’t force me, I don’t think, but…”

“What, who? Sansa…”

She sighed, “Lord Tyrion wouldn’t force me, he hasn’t yet and I don’t believe he will, but Lord Tywin, Joffrey, they’ve been very insistent on the matter of an heir and I will not have a Lannister babe, Pod… so I want to be ready.”

It scared him, the way she practically skimmed over the part where they would rape her… for how long had she been considering what to do, who to ask for help in case they… he couldn’t even finish the thought. All he felt was sadness and anger on her behalf.

“No... They won’t, I won’t let them…I swear to-” but she shushed him.

“Pod, no promises you can’t keep, remember?”

“No, I won’t let them… we’ll figure something out, we’ll-”

“Podrick,” she said softly and with an eerie calm that let him see how much ill-prepared he had been, entering into this affair, caring for her so sincerely while she bid her time for the worst possible fate, “There’s nothing you can do except help me when I’ll need it”.

“But…”

“Pod, promise me, no bravery, no foolishness, no plotting…just help me when I need it.”

The way she said it he knew there was no use arguing, that was the one promise he made that counted, after all. His help, whatever that means. He wanted to punch something, instead, he looked up to calm down and just to be contrary he said, “No promises I can’t keep, remember?”

She shook her head and huffed in annoyance then raised her had to his face and kissed his cheek “Look, there’s no use in worrying about that, everyone’s too busy right now I just… can’t we go back to normal?”

_No._

“Yes. My Lady….” _the way she kept asking, how could he say no?_ he tried to smile to reassure her “Sansa, we’ll go back to normal,” he said more decisively.

She smirked as she traced her fingers on his eyebrows “You’re lying to me”

_He was._ And that’s why in the next second he decided to kiss her like he hadn’t done in days as if he could erase all this ugliness from their mind by pouring as much affection and devotion he felt into the kiss.

Sansa was good at pretending, and maybe that’s how her lips sought his like they had all those times before, no hesitation, no fear. Just them basking in each other’s warmth.

Or maybe, maybe it wasn’t pretending that everything was fine, maybe it was her seeking reassurance that they were still here. And he would never deny her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh it's been so long, I know and I'm sorry but I did promise that it would eventually come out.
> 
> And peeps, it got a bit angsty at the end there... I wasn't expecting that, especially since this was about teenage-Podsa-hormones but hey, this is Westeros...
> 
> Oh, once again, a huge thanks to Danally for the gorgeous artwok for this story!!

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a series of drabbles, then a three part story (which it still is, I suppose, since it will involve King's landing and beyond) but it has now become a wee monster that's mostly finished in my mind, and only half finished in reality.
> 
> Still, I felt that if I didn't share it soon enough I would be tempted to delete everything and keep it hidden forever.


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